Being in Control

Yesterday I did a talk at for a Speakers Showcase. I only spoke for 15 minutes but I spoke a little bit about being in control and wanted to speak to all of you about that. I think a lot of us worry about what people will think if we take control. We don't want people to think that we are control freaks and we certainly don't want to seem egotistical or arrogant. But the fact is that if any of us are involved in a negotiation or renegotiation we need to be in control if we want to get our needs fulfilled. This point is incredibly important. I use the image of the Orange Ball to know who is in control. If you are in control, you have the Orange Ball if someone else is in Control they have the Orange Ball. The secret of the Orange Ball is to know who has it and how to get it back if we lose it.

The idea here is to always show respect to those you are dealing with. Be courteous and listen. Address their needs so they know you are not only concerned with what you want. Several people came up to me after the talk and told me that they did not like taking control. I asked them how do they ever get what they want. They admitted it was a problem. I said if you treat people well they will help you get what you want and it is not your responsibility to protect them.

I look forward to your comments and let me know if any of you have similar problems or situations that you would like me to address.

All the best,

Marc